So Close to the Knives (So Close) or How to Amuse Yourself in Texas

Just fell in love with David Wojnarowicz and his book Close to the Knives: A Memoir of Disintegration. A friend had asked Eileen Myles at a reading a while back for books that use queer gossip as a strategy and Eileen said, of course, Close to the Knives. So I read it. And fell in love. (And I'm kinda psyched because I think David and I look a little similar.) Two quotes:

D: I've been told all my life that I'm "too sensitive," as if you could just turn the tap off and feel a little less sensitive for the rest of your life and everything will be okay.

Sylvia: "Too sensitive"⎯oh, definitely. Too smart, too sensitive, intuitive. It is "much sensitive," not "too sensitive," as if it were derogatory. Excuse me, that is what I am. I'll spend my whole trying to maintain this rather than trying to turn it off. That's why it is hard. I want to be as smart and as sensitive as I am and see things the way I do. I want to be strong enough to stay that way. I don't want to dull that.


J: A person like Dakota couldn't live for too long in a place like texas. He couldn't be satisfied. Did you hear how he'd amuse himself down there? One thing I'd heard he was doing as breaking into people's houses and putting on these cowboys' cowboy hats and like putting on their gun belt and walking around the house naked and fantasizing about being involved in these people's lives, I guess, and jerking off into their beds. I mean, if those people found him they probably would have shot him, y'know, like he was going to great lengths to amuse himself in texas.